My Blog

This few month or can say six month. I mix around with a friend who is my classmate, know as Ishak. He it a G**G leader, also a school student leader with top result. After fail to trust the right person in the business which cause me to lost all my money. The process of dealing with this person, he guide me along. Whether it by the clean or the dirty way. Thing are still done. I learn alot of thing from him.

In church, we know wht is "bless" but for the world it call "steady". I mix around him friend. They very steady(they share and give) beer, ciggrate and bikes. And for us christian, every week some many testimony  but how many really share and give. To be frank, i dont see many(maybe one or two). Action speak londer then word.

When God bless us he expect us to be a blessing. But still week after week Many are bless but how many really use their blessing to bless. Interesting Fact right….

Like my perivous blog, GOT MOnEY TO INVEST NO MONEY FOR FRIENDLY LOAN. Some are also church friend not one but two.

Wht happen man? Perhar Many of us need to renew own mind for such matter. I guess.

What a mother…. -_-# 5 day later after TTT, a place I learn what it take to be a Real Man. A man who have the charater but today there is a test and I fail. I fail in the area of self control. All along, my mother have a foul month, we (father and me) believe that it is some gems and stuff that relate to my grandma, which cause her to be like this. Well, Super foul mouth till can kill people. My mother logic is never make any sense to us (father brother and me). If it a law is “thy her will be done”. Follow her way, do it her way that something it far too much for a human to bear, as we are all individend. Life it worse of then Dogs. No kidding, To hand on, and reduce the pain when she talks. I will never fail to listen to some music. In an incident, I broke my hand because I can’t handle the stuff she says. And was on cast for months.That how deadly the foul mouth can be. I learn my lesson but she always power and level up after watch some Taiwan show. Which word it not sword but gun firing in semi mode. She watches it in the afternoon I watch it in the night because the TV programme repented one. Thru the show I saw it, top rated, the ugliest side of inhuman behaviors. Which my family believe that where my mother learn. She thinks it the best way to hit someone down. And she is right. Today I was hit by her word, very badly. It kills me from in side out. Speaking thing that is inhuman and shame her own son, demean it. That the mother, I have. Even when my father hears it, he was very surprise and could not even utter anything at that point. Why it happens, long story and to cut it short. It starts with a stupid and foolish and only idiot will do thing like this. That is, if you (me) don’t go out I can’t do my stuff and I need to leave now, I am late. Late For what, to do something. You mean you can’t do stuff in my presence. I am a ghost or an alien or what. If your cant get the pic, to be frank I also don’t get it. I also was doing something for my school fee seeking help in for the financial aid. And she tells me this sort of no sense stuff. And I shouted at her to repent what she say when she demean me and shame me, and she can tell me why not happy, want to fight. #&@#$!!! It my mother who talk like this leh man, I only see that outside only Beng and Lian does it. Cant image 55 year old act like one 15- 16 year old kid. What the!!! I reply by shouting back, what you sow you will reap, if I and Samuel (my brother) your two son can’t take it and leave you. No one will dig your grave. Further more you got no good friend, all the friend are “friend” and no relative. Even my dad also can’t take it, Because of your attitude, we will see who will dig your grave. Curse me to dead eveytime we fight. If I die, you also going to dig my grave. White hair sends black hair (some Chinese saying) Out of the anger word flow. Mother and father had gone speechless. I pack and leaving my house immed. This test show that I far from self control. TTT it only acknowledges. And if this is what I do to my mother even if she is so in the wrong and don’t admit what will I do to my future girlfriend even if she is so in the wrong and don’t admit. I am far beyond the charater I need. This is the 2nd day which I didn’t touch TTT note le… Bad day…The worse is sometime it so hard to say, I sorry.

Bad thing happen recently, too many to name. Money family biz and chirstain life. Not doing good. Miss Sat service,go for sunday. Sermon was good, giving a brand new name to the term biz.

After service, i when to eat with W* and S* but i go with a ugly face. Was is a time of bad moody day. W* ask what happen i try to make it a very general reason like tell her, many way my life is not good and life it messy dont know how to tell her. But she seen concren for me as we are in the same cell. Well it really nice of her, but i withhold. Till S* goes off after the lunch it only me and W*. hmmm, and she still asking. Why today i look so moody, i carry onto withhold and giving general reason. I cant get to close i tell myself. But she seen very persistent. I told her, that her train coming and she late, to push her off to pervent her from asking question however not useful. I end up tell her that I  only share with boss and it maybe because of the "man ego" thing and stuff actually all bull shit la. Juz excuse. So finally she give up and left. I feel bad and message she why actually. And acknowledge boss of the incident, well it because" the more i share the more i feel" so i withhold so much. Sometime if you can control the emotion we juz have to know how to stop emotion from entering. I know i juz not the one and it juz to good for me. I need to stop it be4 it control me. The 3year, it about half way there. But i not suppose to wait. Cause there is no result. When boss say: Yeah you did the right thing. i feel so good. And i will get over it.

Next today, service was great. My biz it not about asset and liabilites. It about value, A company net worth $10m  motivated staff and B company net worth $10m staff not motiveated. Which worth more? Well will be talking to my partner about giving earning regularly to people in need. Hope he agree man.

ok that all folk…

It been so long since i last blog. I thru i will not be using it anymore but, beside friends family. There isnt much place for me to expression the feeling i have.

During my exam i stop all me dealing and result to short of cash. However one interesting fact, my "friend" suppose to be one of my close friend whose also interested in biz turn out to be a stranger i never know. Recently, i got into a trouble with a ‘ganagster" who cheated my money that make the matter worse. Cut the long story short, my investment turn up to be a friendly loan by force. Result to a fight, cause we play by the gang rule. Upon meeting, his mother turn up and wanna do peacemaking knowing tat the son will do something silly. In the mid of the fight, he take out a knife of about 20cm and the mother fight with him physically and able to keep the knife safe from him. After which a police report it make. I lost my money as it a friendly loan and unable to get it back.

Having a intention to do biz in the 2 month of my holiday, lost all my capital i got to start from the beginning. Even it is not a problem for me, it still need time to recover. Make "friend" came to wanted to invest but turn out to be a stranger tht wanna rob me from all me biz plan and idea. Sick of it. Not one but 2. Enough!!! They got no money to help me out as friendly loan but got the den bloody money to invest. Cause investment only benefit them. I begin to trust only those can be trusted and they are ont even from church and those are from church are my "friends" what happen? i dont know i learn i know, Something you gonna protect yourself even if it church pple.

Even christian sometime are juz not perfect juz face the fact. I will make it , depsite all odd. I know i lost all my so call "friend" and i have only one to relay on. And that God. Man will fail but God will not fail. That all fork.

Yesterday is one of the night which i learn lot of thing about my cell, my CGL and my fellow CGM. Firstly really gonna thk God for a new friend with her decision. And it seen like big day come the devil will really go all out to stop and hit us so that we all will do less for God. Ever since i join POS, use what i learn and apply to my CG. From what i see in some IC and help in the CG i really learn lot from this people.

I realise, M* problem is like so big compare to I*. I POS i learn abit of manhood. I juz trying to be a better man. As i accompany 2 sister to M* place then to town to look for M* without know where is he. It tiring as we are all human even G* try to catch some sleep in the NR. But i think what really keep W* and G* going to look for M* is really the heart of the CGL. I ask how come CGL is so on to help M* compare to I*. They say: of course la,she put in so much money, time and strenght. Believe that M* will turn back to a new leaf. At that time i really wake up, I accompany them till 4am it actually to do what a brother need to do, but since the above mention i know it to carry the bunden of the CGL and the bunden for the those who are lost matter most. What amazed me, is really something i cant explain. It like a W* and G* i never know. The tone i use to scold I*, since to reviews and review it again and again. Sometime really feel veri… , as the sister rise to the occasion. But i believe as try to be a better brother God will help me, to slow be a man i need to be.

I wake up in the afternoon this afternoon and there is a sms. It from my CGL leader with a word of thank for what happen yesterday. I dont know what to reply. But instead of recieve the thk from the CGL i think i must thank her. I learn and was amazed.

After my last entry i really feel very depress, drain emotionally. So went to prayer and tell God all this unhappy thing. From mistake in stunt till, that thing*. I think more den juz brother in POS can help me the rest is all by  myself.

That thing*, i know is not from God. i didn’t pursue nor do anything about it . From the very start i know and i know it not from the Lord. But sometime pple are sharp. I wish to still maintain that good old time but it seen, like it history even since yesterday. Someone came to ask me about that thing*. i told the person it pass. i decide to put it a side and what is pass is pass. I make a mistake i wont denied it. But must the reality be so real. Do the person gonna feel weird about it. Can we juz be like before. I ask God if this is from you why is it like that.

On the other hand i feel so bad even since i cant save the stunt and i know i will not be sure if i still have the chance to performance stunt anymore ever since the above problem and the mistake i make during stunting. i feel so leave out. i wonder since that thing* affect me so much to the level i don’t feel like stunting and will not able to performance next time why this thing hit me so badly.

I look to God in prayer, and after the prayer i wait for Him to say something (still in depress mode) i drop something and too depress to even pick it up. But something juz flow in believe to be the holy spirit. It say you make a mistake, you drop something. Now you pick it up. And i look at the thing which i drop. My character my stunt and i need to make a decision to pick it up or to juz leave it. If i choose to pick up i will need to get up and walk to the problem pick it up and carry on walking. If i don’t pick up i will forever never get over it. I decided to pick up and walk to the problem and pick up and go to my sit. I know this is what the Lord say. you may fall 7 time but you will still rise.

A word from the Lord indeed change life, One thing i know i will be use to do stunt i will still carry on, even if i am ask to change team i will do the best. The next time i stunt i will go for excellence. More than juz can go up or not. And for that* issue what done is done. If the person feel weird i still gonna carry on with my purpose. It time to carry on with life. A life which is more than abundance. Amen.

Emenge over for like 2 week le ba. Happy moment over le. Celeration over le. All the big and small event over le. It really a wonderfull time to be in the POS. Learn alot.

One of the IC whose i kinda close with, Talk to me. We have a good chat, finding out the problem in me, as we all know we are not prefect. So friend or you can say fellowship is to mould and shape you. Along the chat. One of the problem was surface is during the POS. I find out with the help of my friend that i have this problem and it will go worse if they dont help me. Cause not i dont wanna kill the problem is sometime when the problem happen , i myself or most of the people with this common problem will not realize he or she is wrong. This problem only can catch by people whose they are call your friend. This problem is there if you dont take care of it, it will be the down fall which you may not even know.With this problem, i went to most of the training with a unt*****b*e attitude. when thro everything and finally on stage.

This IC told me, do you know that. so and so was really angry with you. what are you doing? In my understanding, i know i did my best. But somehow not so to many. Because of my that attitude, many are sick of telling me my mistake. Because of my silly mistake and the attitude. Many mistake is not correct. Detail are not take note. On the day on the stage, forelift, my base suffer, when i think i give all le yet to other nothing is given. L stretch fall, i back spot, didnt save the stunt. 37 man stunt fail because of my lack of attention and that attitude at the L stretch. Never forget my flyer lock even when she fall. But me fail to save the stunt.

I withold this for so long, like 2 week le. i cant let go. Everytime i look at the video the final stunt on the day. i feel so ……

I really love to stunt, talk to the IC of plan of purchase something for the POS in a big Picture. Having a heart for POS but…. not too sure if i think i will still be in for POS 2007.

The IC even say that this person T* also not happy with me le. That further break me. I was thinking will it be better if i pursue biz and provide for POS or carry on with POS. The question is, AM I CALL FOR POS stunt ? i really wonder.

We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning…

Maybe, Sunday night…

And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.

We do like to have Him around during sickness…

And, of course, at funerals.

However, we don’t have time, or room, for Him during work or play…

Because.. That’s the part of our lives we think… We can, and should, handle on our own.

May God forgive me for ever thinking…

That… there is a time or place where..

HE is not to be FIRST in my life.

We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.

Yes, I do Love God.

HE is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)

THE POEM

But never found the time"

Easy vs. Hard

Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?

Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?

Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?

Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine, but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?

Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e-mail, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?

Why are the churches getting smaller but yet the bars and dance clubs are getting larger?

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak…"I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply.

"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.

"Take ‘em home and have fun with ‘em," he answered. "I’m gonna tease ‘em and pull out their feathers to make ‘em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time" "But you’ll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"

"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I’ll take ‘em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"

"Huh?? !!! Why, you don’t want them birds, mister. They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing. They ain’t even pretty!"

"How much?" the pastor asked again.

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn’t resist. Got ‘em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

Satan replied, "Oh, I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I’m gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I’m really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I’ll kill ‘em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked

"Oh, you don’t want those people. They ain’t no good. Why, you’ll take them and they’ll just hate you. They’ll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don’t want those people!!"

"How much?" He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!"

Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

Notes: Isn’t it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell.

Isn’t it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Isn’t it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing?

Isn’t it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Isn’t it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.

I pray, for everyone who sends this to their entire address book, they will be blessed by God in a way special for them.

One week plus over le, common test kill my whole week man. For one week i got no life haha My friend who fellowship with me are all my book. My book know me but i dont know them. It like, my book explain to me, how i know them but i cant remenber. Do i know them from LT or class. I fail to understand what they trying to tell me.

One week ago, We are still talk about POS now is back to our life but monday will be the big day for the POS. So happy.

I learn alot in POS. This world cup suppose to be a great opp to earn money. But i give up, know that. I have only one set for 3year in poly to do something for God. Lost my businesses and do POS. Knowing that i juz have to trust God. Never the less God proof himself not limited my circumtances. In POS itself, near to emerge, I got 3 deal close after the event during and after got 2 deal close. One of them it from the army. Have to earn so much, all thank to God.

I saw half of my vision coming to pass. I know i gonna reach there one day. I buy a new study bible, bless someone and provide financal support for me cell group. It will never happen with out God. This business started during the last lap of the last building fund.And God did Bless this company. Having more then enough God really did something out of my mind. My vision is to do well in the business not only to support my need but also the need of other and to provide or empower the work of God financally.

Having say that, i long this day so long. During worship today, i feel that the holy spirit tell me that. This cell group outing if it for friend he want me to bless them for the feast. Intend to go for steamboat.So i was lean to bless them a feast.This is before the service, after service i found out there is a friendship connection 2 week later. So the holy spirit lead me, i can see the whole pic. I get go excited i share with my CGL and with the help of the Helper. I give the CG a amount to work on. Finally, that is what is all about. If God give me the power to get wealth, the financal should pump back to the work for the Lord. At least i know what God given, there is a return. I still wanna do more in this area if Godis still willing to use me in the Business trade, to provide and support his work i willing to do more then expected…

Tht all Folk enjoy your hoilday

Everything is up finally!!!!! With attitude. The unity and bond cant tear us apart. Awesome Yeah….! It done! All paid off…

Extraordinary people doing thing who never do before, give up time, life , sleep ,work and money(countless) Taxi ride . And common test ,project, assignment all in by end of term. People we stretch Like never before. These 37 people  despite of all this serve one God One Mission One  NP . They overcame and came this far. It amazed me. And the best is I am Part of this move, A move or God.

“When you choose to rise to the occasion which God have set for you. God will empower in you and He will Magnify his Power in You “ Pst Tan

“God is looking for one guy or one gal, who is willing to rise up to the occasion which he has set upon, to stand in the living and the dead” Pst Kong

“Pst receive a vision from God, to start the reach out from school. POS , is what God intended, using young people to do great thing for God.That the vision of the church of the Pst and of GOD. Who will Flow with it…” One CGL

This 37pple have proof to be the one. Weary and tired, bruised, injured, sick, cried, laughed, shared tears and joy , emotionally, mentally to fulfill one vision which is from the Lord. Out of a 200 potential people, 37 choose to make it possible. It a choose. A decision.Weekssssss has been tough (Tough till sometime I also wanna cry). E.g  basket thon until also don’t know have hat 100% what 200%, I think got  nearly 15 or more basket thon in a roller, bit the bullet with ben and jessel  with joy and tanny.

Now I know what stretch.. cause I amount tear. Thurday performance in expoPOS , a lot of perviews  and lot of practice but school will not excuse you. Common is the next day of the performance. Night after night pray and pray that strength will come for the perpartion if  the test.

Lost the business for world cup. But gain more after join POS Army out of the blue call for order. And sec school also out of the blue also like else.

Having a great flyer is one of the things I enjoy. Joy and Tanny, you ROCK!!!! AWESOME YEAH!!!

Joy back tac, remember ?  That the carzy thon we do that day that almost tear me apart le..

And tanny haha first thon was great. Over shot and the leg fly to my face and I taste the shoe. Then piano drop from sky,( hand hit my month, blood came out) and lot of funny thing. And slow montion fall so funny, like normal fall but super slow montion. And in real time.

And my nick Paul smiff, Ready ok break one smiff…. Haha…

And lot more…

NPCHC POS your have done well… REALLY!!!!

As we do the first thon on tanny Pastor almost stand up,  Our G pyramid first front row all stand. With what I see you tell me, was it great?

Let follow the  vision of God, Flow with the church and Revive in NP.

See you next year Folk………………………………

My  Group tan,jes,ben, cyran, paul

REALLY OK 1,2 DOWN UP!!!!!!

The strongest group…..